Cast List Dane: Dane Sean: me Eileen: Dane's wife Danielle: Dane's sister Mrs. Johnson AKA Wendy: Dane and Danielle's mom The Hog Boys:...

Ali and Frazier.  Tesla and Edison.  Grant and Lee.  Montagues and Capulets.  Cats and dogs.  Alien and Predator.  Chick-fil-A and...

Like any blue-blooded American boy who is not interested in TikTok, Dane grew up playing baseball.  However, unlike other baseball boys,...

They say no animal changes its residence more often than the hermit crab.  Well, that may be well and true in matters beneath the waves,...

As you know, we are in the age of the worldwide web.  As you also know, this era has bred a new and repulsive, bottom-feeding subset of...

Everyone has their vices.  Dane has a few, but easily the most disruptive to the Buffalo community is his infatuation with fireworks. ...

Dane is a shoo-in to the Incorrectly-Remembering-and-Reciting-Common-Terms Hall of Fame.  His glowing résumé includes:   -Spent most of...

I'm sure there's a more "proper" term for Siamese twins now, but I do not know what it is and I cannot imagine taking the effort to look...

You know those people who can be completely unaware of their surroundings because they're totally absorbed in their own little worlds? ...

The Johnsons are a very festive bunch: between the three of them, they host about a dozen parties each year.  Wendy always provides us...

Believe it or not, that line doesn't even bring home the gold as Dane's greatest sentence upon exiting a restroom.  The award-winner was...

In middle school, there was an annual wrestling tournament that must have offered extra credit, because otherwise, I can't imagine why so...

There are times when Dane can be self-conscious about his body and strength, even though he looks fine and is as strong as any other...

In another display of body delusion, and/or disillusion, Dane once saw great similarities between himself and a huge NFL defensive...

Once again feeling self-conscious, Dane verbally attacked his own lack of muscles during a particularly weak moment.   "Look at me: it's...

During high school, a bunch of us were comparing our heights, as insecure teenage boys often do, and the approximately 5’-7” Dane was...

As we've just established, Dane can worry about his height, so one time, I made a crack about him being 5'-2" and he responded,...

Much like a sorority, we once took a Hog Boys group photo for the corporate newsletter at a party, and after seeing how the picture...

The gang was at Dane's apartment one time and someone didn't have his new WiFi password.  Obviously, Dane hadn't memorized it or changed...

Some people struggle with math classes.  Some people have difficulty with science classes.  Some people have trouble with language...